New Years Intentions

The word resolutions is  loaded, mostly with perceptions of failure and broken promises. This year, rather than resolving to do anything, I am simply making a list of intentions.

What I intent to focus my attention on this year:

Love, Fun and Laughter

Love is the obvious one, for obvious reasons. Because it’s so obvious, I thought about omitting it, but I didn’t want to read my intentions later, and ask “Where is the love?”, hehe.   The Fun and Laughter – well, I don’t want to take life too seriously. I never have any fun when I do, and where is the fun in that?

Living Joyfully

I intent to live each moment with as much joy as I can, but when I can’t, I intent to allow myself to feel whatever else I’m feeling, to sit with it, hopefully understand it, and then let it go, and come back to joy.


Everyday I dance, I have a better day. As someone who loves and respects herself, I think I owe it to myself to try to have more better days, more often. I want to dance, or at least to move, every day. With my hoop, with tunes, or just grooving to the rhythm of the traffic going by – I need to move to feel free.


I have made sharing my light and love my life’s work, so sharing has to be included here. This year I intend to branch out – to share more in more ways. I want to share with my writing, with teaching, with my serving, with dancing and in as  many ways as I can, without over extending myself. The flip side of this, is allowing others opportunities to share their gifts with me, to really allow an exchange of energy, love, light, gifts and talents to happen to see what will happen.


I intend to focus on the important things in life, and allow myself to let go of extraneous things. I know what is important to me (Love, family, friends, food, wine, dance, laughter, conversations, nature, reading and writing all make the short list).  I tend to be interested in all things, and while that is great in so many ways, I think this will be the year I try to spend my  limited time, energy, attention and funds on the things that truly matter to me.

My Love

I am getting married this year to an amazing man.   Our relationship, wedding, honeymoon and marriage are taking center stage right now .. . It’s so easy to get carried away with the party. I intent to stay present and focused on what’s really important: The party! Just kidding. But seriously, I am excited to host an event dedicated exclusively to the celebration  of our love. I am so grateful for the opportunity, mostly cause I really do love a good party,  and because it  give me a chance to incorporates so many of the other things that I intend to focus on anyway. Love, fun, laughter,  living joy fully, sharing, dancing, and even simplicity.

May this next year be full of Love, Light, Laughter, Fun, Joy and Beauty!

All the best in 2011!


Reframing Christmas

I just had the best Christmas I’ve ever had.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t with my family. I was with friends, and my fiance. I made the decision to stay off the icy roads this year and stay home. I felt really guilty at first. I felt like I was abandoning my family, but I just really, really didn’t want to do the whole Christmas thing this year. I wanted to ignore it completely. To be honest, I was getting a little bah humbug about the whole thing.

It might seem weird for someone who is all over the whole love, peace and joy thing to hate Christmas, but let me give you some background.

My parents were divorced when I was six, and from that time on, every Christmas, it was always a choice between Mom or Dad. When I was really little, they chose obviously. When I was older, I made the choice, and usually chose to spend it with my Dad, because then I got to see more family all at once. It was kind of the utilitarian choice. But no matter who I was with, I always felt like I was letting the other part of my family down.

We had some of the usual Christmas drama, as most families do. Some mild fighting, which is almost inevitable when that many people are together in an intensely emotional time of sleep deprivation, extra sugar, extra excitement with the added instability of the departure from the usual routine. But every year, I grow to hate Christmas more and more, even though I always wound up having fun in the end.   I would cry every year, usually on Christmas Eve ’cause I missed Mom, or Dad and it was usually just too much for me to handle.

So this year I wanted to stay away from all of that, to avoid all those feelings. But I still felt them. I still felt angry and sad and annoyed by Christmas even though I wasn’t going to go through all of that this year. I was so upset about it that I wondered if something traumatic had happened that I couldn’t remember on a Christmas day.

I asked my sister, since she has a much better memory (or hasn’t repressed as much from childhood as I did) and she did tell me a story that explained the depth of my feelings. One year and we can’t remember what year that was, Mom and Dad couldn’t decide who would have us on Christmas day, so we spend the morning with Mom and headed off to the airport to fly as unaccompanied minors in the afternoon to Dad’s house. The flight was empty and the flight attendants fussed over us, with a lot of pity for the poor kids of divorced parent’s flying them all over the place on Christmas day.

It all made a little more sense to me then, my feeling of being pulled in two directions at once at Christmas. I spent some time letting myself feel the unfairness of it all.  I cried, because at the time I didn’t really realize at the time how much it sucked. To survive, I just sucked it up and buried it deep down inside . I had to let myself feel that pain before I could let go of it. Feeling an emotion is the only way you can be free of it.

Once I actually acknowledge just how much Christmas sucked for me growing up, I felt lighter. Up until that point, nothing I tried really let me enjoy Christmas for more than a few moments. Now I can start reframing Christmas on my terms. As an adult, in a new city, with a new family and friends of my own.

And you know what? My whole family was supportive of me starting new traditions. They know I love them, and that I’ll get to see them next week, to celebrate without the past hanging over my head. This year, I was able to stay in the present. To be present and enjoy Christmas on my own terms, with love and joy in my heart instead of old hurts  and sadness. I’m actually already looking forward to next year.

Haters Gonna Hate

I say things that challenge the status quo quite often. Things that might sound pretty friggin crazy to some people. I have a non traditional belief system, but because I live and work amongst like minded people, who have open minds and open hearts, I often forget just how different my worldview is.

I know that we are all one, that we are sparks of the divine consciousness who have chosen to incarnate on Earth to learn as much as we can and to spread light where we can.  I know that we are creators of our own reality, not the victims of circumstance.

I know that the essence of life is love, and that spirit exists and that magic is real (it’s just a form of manifestation through visualization). I know that there is a soul, and that our consciousness  does not end with the death of our physical form. I know that we have all the help available to us that we need and that life can be good, and fun and worthwhile.

These aren’t mere beliefs. This is truth that resonates deep within my soul. Either that, or I’m batshit crazy and so are all my friends and fellow lightworkers.

There are lots of folks out there that would think that I am crazy. Schizophrenic even. If the things I talk about are completely out of their frame of reference it can really come off that way, especially online. That’s fine. Haters gonna hate, and people are going to be scared and resistant to new (old) ideas. Especially ones that challenge their belief that there is no god, or if there is one, he is the paternalistic sky god from the bible who goes around smiting people. I know that stems from pain, and fear…  From feelings of abandonment. When people forget, or don’t realize that they made a choice to come here, and  live lives that are full of lessons, it can seem like life is just hard and unfair with an uncaring god, or worse, no god at all.  It’s hard to hear that you might be the one responsible for your pain, and for all the things in your life. Really hard.  It’s easier to blame someone else. To allow yourself to be victimized by others, by their families, by society at large.

But we are the creators of our own reality and existence. We are gods and goddesses in every sense of the word. We create the life we live and the lives we lead.

Some people really hate that idea.

That’s ok.

It’s all just love anyway, underneath it all. The ideas of hate and anger are illusory. They stem from the idea that we are anything separate from God, or from love. We chose that separation to be able to learn, but now we’re coming back to a time of non duality. The paradigm is shifting and more and more people are awakening.

It’s hard and scary for people to let go of the hate  and anger that they have in their hearts, but it’ll happen eventually.

It’s already happening.

Millions of people and countless beings of light are all working together, and will keep working until all of humanity understands that we are all one, and that all is love.

New Reality Transmission

An international group of physicists and mathematicians have created a movement called the New Reality transmission that aims to create peace on earth, through applied physics.

“…According to the most well-tested theory in Physics, Quantum Mechanics”, your consciousness changes reality. In this theory, the phenomenon known as the Collapse of the quantum wave function is what brings reality into existence. This is a fancy way of saying that one’s conscious  observation of small unseen waves actually causes those waves to “collapse into matter. In other words, conscious observation materializes particles into existence.”

We create our own reality, and through conscious intention we can change it.
On 11-11-10, at 11:11 pm EST, for 11 minutes- people will join together on the website or wherever they are to project their conscious intention to heal the world. To create peace.  To change the world.

This will happen for 11 days, and again on 1/11/11 and 11/11/11.

Please join us!

I’m so excited, I actually wept with joy reading the website. This is it folks. This is why we’re here, and what we’ve been waiting for. We’re creating a new reality for ourselves, where people understand we are the conscious creators of our lives. Fear, war, poverty, hate- they’ll all disappear and in their place- we’ll have love, joy and freedom!





Manifesting Awesome and Radiating Light

I’ve decided to be less specific when I’m manifesting things.

I know the universe has a better perspective than I do, so I’ve decided to surrender to it, and be less specific  more often. Rather than trying to manifest things like: more money, or better hours at work, I’ve started just placing my focused attention on manifesting awesomeness of any sort into my life.

In the mornings, I take some time to pray/set intention for the day and connect with my higher self and the universe. Really, it’s just me talking in my head, or out loud to whatever/whoever is listening, which focuses my energy at a particular vibration level. Then, things of the same vibrational energy will be attracted back to me.

It’s a lot of fun, not knowing exactly what is coming up, but knowing that awesome things lie ahead. In return for all the awesomeness, I know my job is simply to radiate as much light and love as I can back into the universe. This keeps my vibrational level high, which in turn attracts more of that awesomeness, and more love and light back towards me.  It’s an infinite loop that is continually creating more light, love and awesomeness, of which the world can never have enough!

Nadir Yoga (There is only one message)

I read recently about an interesting practice called Nadir yoga*.

* Yoga isn’t just  the physical practice of postures and breathing  that you normally see. That’s called Hatha yoga, and was developed as a way of yogis to prepare their body for sitting in long hours of meditation. There are many kinds of yoga, which literally means- path to the divine, or state of union with the divine.  For example, there is Jnana yoga, which is the path of knowledge (reading and interpreting sacred texts, etc) , Bhakti yoga- the path of devotion (through prayer, meditation, ritual, festival etc), and many others.
Nadir yoga is  the practice of listening closely to the ringing/buzzing tones that lightworkers often hear in their ears. These tones are said to be messages- information for us that is being downloaded into our psyche, subconsciously by beings of light. Angels, guides, ascended masters or what have you. Beings who are helping us on our journeys.

When you listen closely to these tones, by closing your eyes in a quiet space, and focusing on them intently, you can ride with the tones deeper and deeper into a meditative place and altered states of consiousness.

Tones and ringing like this can be from a physical source, like you were listening to loud music, or they could have a neurological source. If this is the case, attention and focus on the tones won’t change anything. But if they are messages for you, with your focus and attention, the tones will shift and change, and you can follow them towards the divine.

The other night, I was listening intently, focusing inwards on the ringing in my ears which I found brought me into a peaceful meditative state quite quickly. I enjoyed listening to the tones as they changed, it was fascinating, and brought my attention deeper and deeper within myself. At some point  I asked what the message was and  I was told, there is only one message: Love.

First Peak Spiritual Experiences

I’ve had quite a few peak spiritual experiences in this life. Moments of absolute clarity, feelings of oneness where the illusion of separation between me and the divine lifts.

These are the kinds of moments seekers everywhere, throughout time and space yearn for. They are gifts.

These moments give utter reassurance that you are on the right track, and that everything really is ok. Perfect really.

I remember the first time my consciousness and ego really dissolved, and I felt that presence. I was about 16, and I was in my car, leaning back and listening to a electronic music track (no idea what it was called). The track moved into a piece where it was just someone taking incredibly long, slow breaths. I decided to breathe along and the inhalations and exhalations were so long they were just at the edge of my comfort zone.

It was basically my first guided meditation, and soon I felt my borders dissolving, and the gentle, graceful comfort of divine presence pretty much cradling me in their arms.

I don’t know how long the moment lasted, but I do know I felt bolstered, reinforced, refreshed and rejuvenated. I knew then with certainty (though I had never really doubted), that I was not alone.

I had grown up in the Catholic church, and I knew intuitively that they didn’t have even close to the full story- no one religion did. I think I may have considered myself agnostic at the time, as I was exploring spirituality in different forms… Trying things and ideas on for size, to see if they resonated.

This experience moved me away from the more intellectually oriented reason based philosophical pursuits of knowing God (I had been unknowingly following a sort of jnana yoga path, as I was pretty rational and intellectual at the time), and moved me towards the mystical, experiential, devotional and ecstatic.

I’ve had plenty of other peak experiences since then, including the one I wrote about here: and I’ll write more about them as time goes on. They’ve been fairly diverse since I have a bit of a hodgepodge of practices and interests, but they all have brought me to the same place- a place of connection with the divine. A place of utter peace and comfort.  I’ve found that place through dance, hooping,  meditation, prayer, kirtan (mantra work), in the arms of my beloved, and I’ve just wound up there spontaneously.

There are many (innumerable) paths that lead to the same place.  How you get there doesn’t matter, only the experience does. That’s what it’s all about, and that’s why we’re here. For the Experience.

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