Dancing into Being



When I began writing this blog, I felt words spilling and tumbling out of me. I found so much joy in crafting sentences and paragraphs to share my experiences. Then, my experiences became so profound, words started to seem incomplete and frustrating. I had begun dancing again, and I was moving in ways so profound that I was speechless. I moved away from writing and focused on dancing, and on simply being.
As thing spiraled along, I have come back to a place where words seem appropriate… I want to chronicle this new part of my journey. I am still dancing but rather than it taking me to a wordless metaphysical place, I find my dance is allowing me to once again inhabit the world of form and words. I am really enjoying the physically of life, and being present in my body.

I used to feel frustrated and trapped in this dimension as a human. Now I’ve really come to appreciate that we all chose to be here, to be spiritually beings inhabiting a body. We came to learn things we couldn’t if we always stay in our lightbodies. So, I’ve decided to embrace my physical form and learn whatever I can from it.
I’m embarking on a new mission, to listen to my body and love it,. To respect it and to use it as a tool for unearthing deep wisdom about living as spirit on a physical plane.
I’ve started a new blog to chronicle my thoughts and experiences.

Come join me as I explore what it’s like to really listen to the storehouse of wisdom contained in my cells and as I learn to unite my body, mind and soul together as one super awesome entity of wholeness!



Beyond Words

I hardly write anymore.

The words no longer come as easily. They seem incredibly imprecise, and unwieldy.Sounds like a case of writer’s block, but fortunately, it’s just a new part of my experience. It seems that the further along I go on my spiritual journey, the less important words become. Maybe it’s because there are no words for many of the experiences I have. Not in any language I know, at least. Any time I try to describe where I am now, the words seem trite and clumsy.

I am so glad there are other ways to communicate. When I am present with you, I can communicate so much more clearly- a smile, a look, a touch, a hug…

Then, there is also the dance.

When I dance, I touch the deepest parts of my own spirit, and if you watch me, and you notice- you can feel it too.See? Even that sounds trite. It doesn’t begin to convey the energy that is exchanged between us. The energy work I do  (that we all do) when we move authentically and dance in ecstatic communion with the universe.

It seems like it is a common experience though, to lose interest in words. One of my inspirations to start blogging about my journey, Ariel Bravy who had an amazing blog You are Truly Loved writes about it here :http://www.youaretrulyloved.com/

He writes that he has literally no desire to go into the changes that transpired within that made him lose interest in the process of documenting his spiritual experiences. He says “It’s like, when you learn how to walk, just walk! “.

I learned to walk, and then I learned to dance and I want to explain it, but I can’t. I will occasionally continue to try, it’s moving beyond words… Into the realm of experience.



A Stroke of Insight- Experiencing Nirvana

Years ago, I read the inspiring story of Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain researcher who experienced a devastating stroke in her left hemisphere.

She had the unique perspective of being able to watch and study the brain functions of her left hemisphere shut down, leaving her in a state of pure being and pure awareness.

She was able to understand what was happening to her clinically, as an educated observer. What she found was a blissful state. Nirvana. Peace, complete and utter peace and expansiveness. She felt the oneness of the universe.  She also realized that she attained this state while in human form, and that it was possible. She had the drive to recover, and come back from Nirvana as a Bodhisattva and help the rest of us get there too.

If you have 20 minutes, please watch this video where she tells her story.  (You’ll have to copy and paste the link into your browser, sorry).

The energy she shares vividly took me to that same place of peace she experienced during her Stroke of Insight.

I am going to re-read her book, My Stroke of Insight right now.

It’s absolutely stunning to realize that we are not our left hemisphere’s daily chatter,  our details,  or our stream of consciousness babble that permeates our daily existence. We can step outside of this linear state and into everything.

The Ultimate Lesson (I Need Sacred)

Last February, I sprained my ankle so hard, I chipped off a piece of bone in the middle of my foot (it’s called an avulsion fracture).  I was off work for 8 weeks (since I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t serve) and the whole experience was pretty intense.

I learned so much during that period. I learned what I needed to be happy and healthy (sleep, food, sunshine, cuddles and dance were right up there on the list). I learned how to ask for help. I learned how to communicate better with my family. I learned just how lucky I was to have the friends, family and fiance that I have. I learned how to appreciate the simple things in life, like being able to walk, stand or take a shower. When I struggled with an inflamed nerve, I learned how desperate and angry pain can make you.

Throughout the whole experience, I was grateful for the lessons it was bringing. I knew how necessary they all were and I’ve been taking much better care of my mental and physical health since then. I also have integrated dance into my every day life, which brings me so much joy it’s hard to believe.

Almost a year later, when I had pretty much forgotten how much the whole thing had hurt,  I pulled a tendon in the same  foot.  It started rubbing on the same nerve I had injured the year before, and suddenly every step hurt… For a few days, every breath hurt. It was agonizing fiery nauseating pain that was confusing as hell, because there wasn’t a single incident that preceded it. Turns out it was a just a series of micro traumas caused by poor biomechanics. It was an inevitable injury because I was out of alignment. Physically and spiritually.

Our bodies are our messengers. When we are in pain, or injured, it’s our souls way of getting our attention. There are so many lessons to be learned from our pain.  You can dialogue with your body part, and ask it what’s wrong. It seems silly, but there is so much wisdom within you that is just waiting for you to listen.

So I went through physio, I was kind to my ankle, I tried to honor it and I asked it what was  wrong. All it would tell me was that there were lessons to be learned still.

Any time I tried to do any energy healing, it would tell me… Not yet, there are still lessons to be learned from your pain. It slowly got better, but tendons do not heal very quickly, and the injury was keeping me from living full-out, from working full-out and most importantly from dancing full-out.

2 months into this annoying pain, I was at a music event, and I wanted to dance. It had been fine earlier in the day, but suddenly the pain was back. Exasperated, I sat down and asked my leg (Ok, fine, I yelled at my leg) “What do you need?” “What is it?!?” “Seriously, what is the lesson here, what do you want????!?”

My leg replied, ” I need sacred.”

A wave of relief and understand came over me, as I finally understood the lesson. The pain is there as a reminder to me to deepen my connection to the divine, to the sacred. To realize and honor my spirit.

I am at a point in understanding and connection to my higher self, that I can tune into that feeling of deep bliss and connection to the god-source any time I focus my attention on love. I don’t do it all the time though, of course. I’m busy and caught up in life and what-have you.

But my pain is there to remind me to tune in more often.  Basically, the only way for me to live a pain-free existence is to spend my time in blissful consciousness.  The pain’s role is to ninja whip my consciousness into shape.

So there it is.. The Ultimate Lesson from my leg.

It’s almost ridiculous, really. I laughed and laughed and laughed when I realized what my guides and my spirit had put together to train me. It’s ingenious really. Devious too. Spirit does have a wicked sense of humor, and I am so grateful for the lessons.


Allowing Things To Flow

I know how important it is in life to surrender, and let things flow. To work with life circumstances  instead of fighting against them.  It makes everything so much easier, and I have so many examples of how things flow better for me when I accept what life is offering me and learn the lessons presented in front of me.

Yet, I forget this sometimes. I forget completely and I feel overwhelmed by circumstances.  I get frustrated when things aren’t ‘ happening exactly the way I hoped they would. Take this last month for example. I pulled a tendon in my foot, the same one I broke around this time last year. It didn’t put me out of commission entirely, but it definitely reduced my work schedule and my ability to dance. I was all gibbled at the Hoop Path workshop that I was so excited to rock out at. I still learned so much, and connected with a lot of amazing people, but it was slightly disappointing not to bring my A-game.

But there were lessons I still hadn’t quite learned from my last injury… I’m not even entirely sure what they all are (always so many lessons in each set of circumstances).  One of the things I’ve been reminded of is that I require physical activity to be able to feel healthy and happy, especially when it’s combined with a creative outlet, like dance. When I don’t dance, my emotions become erratic and everything is way too full of drama. I also think way too much.

Being injured made me start to question my plans… I want to teach sacred dance classes, but I was having trouble figuring out how to study for this and how and when to launch my new career. I kept worrying that I’d never get better, and worrying that it was a stupid idea, and that I should be looking for a more stable career with a more guaranteed income, etc, etc… I started doubting my abilities, just because I was temporarily sidelined. I have a bad habit of thinking I’ll heal faster than I actually do, which always leads to frustration and disappointment. Fortunately my sister talked me through it this time.

It’s all about respecting the ebb and flow of energy and ability, and allowing the body time to recover. Apparently tendons heal quite slowly, so I’ll have lots of opportunity to practice my patience. But it was just yesterday that I decided I was going to stop worrying about what step to take next with respect to my training and career… I decided to stop trying to force things along, and just relax and let them happen. I decided to surrender to the process (thank you SaFire for that inspiration). I decided to let go and allow things to flow.

When I got home this afternoon, I found a ‘Dance the Body Divine’ virtual facilitator training course in my inbox. I’ve been keeping an eye on their sacred dance facilitator training and I thought I was going to have to fly to the States. I didn’t expect there to be online training, and I certainly wasn’t expecting to be able to attend any training so soon but, one day after deciding to surrender and allow things to unfold, the training came to me! April 16th!

It’s so nice to be validated so quickly. It really helps drive my own point home to me!

Thank you universe for bring me the tools to help bring flow to others lives!

Laughter Yoga- Hilarious!!!!


Lately I’ve been stressing a bit about some big life changes that are coming up for me.

After having a fantastic talk with my love, we decided to try to minimize the stresses as much as we could, by stepping back and not trying so hard. To surrender and allow life to flow joyfully, instead of trying to control and decide everything.

I am super grateful that just hours after making that intention, I attended a FUN(draiser) with some of the most amazing activities, with amazing people. Edmonton has such an intensely active and amazing community of awesomeness. I can’t quite describe it, but there are so many joyful people in this city who are all about getting together as a community, celebrating life with dance, music, laughter and silliness  who are also interested in manifesting change for the world.

The laughter yoga was hilarious. We started off playing a bunch of games in a circle… There were silly games involving sound effects, movement, dancing, yelling, clapping, singing and general goofiness. We even made laughter soup. Then we had some free form laughter when we were all warmed up. We sat on the ground, leaning back against two or three people and we just laughed. Other people’s laughs were enough to make us laugh. People shouted things out. We made sounds and faces and tickled each other. We laughed and laughed and laughed until we were spent.

The premise behind this crazy laughter is that laughing feels good and it’s good for you. It floods your system with happy endorphins, lowers blood pressure, while increasing circulation and general well being. Most importantly, it increases joy. It’s also a great way to blow off steam. It sounds strange to laugh on purpose, or without finding things really funny at first, but your body can’t tell the difference AND laughter begets laughter. Fake or forced laughs become real ones really quickly in a crowd of sillies.

I feel all happy and tingly from the endorphin rush hours later.

We ended the night with a Tibetan sound healing. Our facilitator bathed us in beautiful resonant gongs sounds that vibrated through our bodies and right into our souls. It was peaceful and I felt connected to the primordial ohm, the pure resonance of manifestation, where anything is possible and everything already is. It was beautiful.

This fundraiser was to send a friend of mine and his friend to an International Drum Circle facilitator conference in South Carolina. These men do fine work already and people are excited to see what will happen when they return! I can’t wait to attend more events like this.

I’ll leave you with the parting words of one of the attendees this evening.

Peace, love and nonsense!

In A Place Beyond Words

I haven’t been thinking much lately and it’s been really nice.

I’ve been visiting a place beyond words… A place of pure sound, pure experience. A place where kittens live.

When I talk to them, it’s usually a greeting, something  non nonsensical, or just a few soothing words.  But when I’m with them, I try to stay present, in the moment.

When I play with them, I am usually engaged. It’s hard not to be. They’re hilarious, the two of them- Q and Moo. I will admit that I’ve gotten bored after 45 minutes of playing with a feather sparkly thing on a stick and I’ll sit at my computer, dangling the stick beside me, but I usually tire them out before I get bored.

When they come up to sit on my lap, especially at the computer, I try to stop whatever I’m doing and give them my full attention. They reward me for that with giant purrs that soothe my soul and heart stealing moments where they just gaze into my eyes with what I feel is genuine love and affection. Especially Q, my beautiful 9 week old lady with the icy blue eyes that seem to know me from somewhere or somewhen far away from here.

These kittens take me out of whatever it is I am thinking about and make me put aside any plans I am making. They  take me deep into the moment. It feels full and alive, joyous, lucky and peaceful.


Q and Moo





Honoring Rhythms and Cycles

My world has slowed right down.

It’s January. The craziness of the holiday season is over, I’ve finished the rounds visiting friends and family and I can finally sit here in my PJ’s, relax and enjoy. We’ve had about 25 cms of fresh snow over the last two days, and it’s a wonderful excuse to stay home. Sure, I can get out easily in my SUV with great winter tires, but just because I can doesn’t mean I have to. In fact, I don’t even want to.  At least not today.

Winter is a time for stillness, for letting everything settle down and move more slowly. I’m not saying life should stop dead, only that we should take a clue from all the animals hibernating. If we don’t fly south to escape, it’s natural to have an impulse to hide away from everything, at least for a little while.

The whole crazy holiday thing becomes even more stressful because it takes place in winter.  When you add in bad weather, the inevitable colds and flus, lack of sunshine and the innate desire to slow day on cold days it’s no wonder it’s a stressful time.  But people power through it, out of internal and external obligations.

I for one, am glad that I can finally honor my natural rhythm, and rest. Stay a little quieter for just a little while. It’s a completely natural process to have ebbs and flows of energy in your life. It’s a cyclical process, just like the seasons and it’s ok to give into the urge to curl up by the fire-place, ( or in my case, on the couch under a blanket) and put off the to do list for a little while.

I’m using the snow as an excuse. I don’t really need one, but I’ll gladly take it if it’s there.




New Years Intentions

The word resolutions is  loaded, mostly with perceptions of failure and broken promises. This year, rather than resolving to do anything, I am simply making a list of intentions.

What I intent to focus my attention on this year:

Love, Fun and Laughter

Love is the obvious one, for obvious reasons. Because it’s so obvious, I thought about omitting it, but I didn’t want to read my intentions later, and ask “Where is the love?”, hehe.   The Fun and Laughter – well, I don’t want to take life too seriously. I never have any fun when I do, and where is the fun in that?

Living Joyfully

I intent to live each moment with as much joy as I can, but when I can’t, I intent to allow myself to feel whatever else I’m feeling, to sit with it, hopefully understand it, and then let it go, and come back to joy.


Everyday I dance, I have a better day. As someone who loves and respects herself, I think I owe it to myself to try to have more better days, more often. I want to dance, or at least to move, every day. With my hoop, with tunes, or just grooving to the rhythm of the traffic going by – I need to move to feel free.


I have made sharing my light and love my life’s work, so sharing has to be included here. This year I intend to branch out – to share more in more ways. I want to share with my writing, with teaching, with my serving, with dancing and in as  many ways as I can, without over extending myself. The flip side of this, is allowing others opportunities to share their gifts with me, to really allow an exchange of energy, love, light, gifts and talents to happen to see what will happen.


I intend to focus on the important things in life, and allow myself to let go of extraneous things. I know what is important to me (Love, family, friends, food, wine, dance, laughter, conversations, nature, reading and writing all make the short list).  I tend to be interested in all things, and while that is great in so many ways, I think this will be the year I try to spend my  limited time, energy, attention and funds on the things that truly matter to me.

My Love

I am getting married this year to an amazing man.   Our relationship, wedding, honeymoon and marriage are taking center stage right now .. . It’s so easy to get carried away with the party. I intent to stay present and focused on what’s really important: The party! Just kidding. But seriously, I am excited to host an event dedicated exclusively to the celebration  of our love. I am so grateful for the opportunity, mostly cause I really do love a good party,  and because it  give me a chance to incorporates so many of the other things that I intend to focus on anyway. Love, fun, laughter,  living joy fully, sharing, dancing, and even simplicity.

May this next year be full of Love, Light, Laughter, Fun, Joy and Beauty!

All the best in 2011!

Reframing Christmas

I just had the best Christmas I’ve ever had.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t with my family. I was with friends, and my fiance. I made the decision to stay off the icy roads this year and stay home. I felt really guilty at first. I felt like I was abandoning my family, but I just really, really didn’t want to do the whole Christmas thing this year. I wanted to ignore it completely. To be honest, I was getting a little bah humbug about the whole thing.

It might seem weird for someone who is all over the whole love, peace and joy thing to hate Christmas, but let me give you some background.

My parents were divorced when I was six, and from that time on, every Christmas, it was always a choice between Mom or Dad. When I was really little, they chose obviously. When I was older, I made the choice, and usually chose to spend it with my Dad, because then I got to see more family all at once. It was kind of the utilitarian choice. But no matter who I was with, I always felt like I was letting the other part of my family down.

We had some of the usual Christmas drama, as most families do. Some mild fighting, which is almost inevitable when that many people are together in an intensely emotional time of sleep deprivation, extra sugar, extra excitement with the added instability of the departure from the usual routine. But every year, I grow to hate Christmas more and more, even though I always wound up having fun in the end.   I would cry every year, usually on Christmas Eve ’cause I missed Mom, or Dad and it was usually just too much for me to handle.

So this year I wanted to stay away from all of that, to avoid all those feelings. But I still felt them. I still felt angry and sad and annoyed by Christmas even though I wasn’t going to go through all of that this year. I was so upset about it that I wondered if something traumatic had happened that I couldn’t remember on a Christmas day.

I asked my sister, since she has a much better memory (or hasn’t repressed as much from childhood as I did) and she did tell me a story that explained the depth of my feelings. One year and we can’t remember what year that was, Mom and Dad couldn’t decide who would have us on Christmas day, so we spend the morning with Mom and headed off to the airport to fly as unaccompanied minors in the afternoon to Dad’s house. The flight was empty and the flight attendants fussed over us, with a lot of pity for the poor kids of divorced parent’s flying them all over the place on Christmas day.

It all made a little more sense to me then, my feeling of being pulled in two directions at once at Christmas. I spent some time letting myself feel the unfairness of it all.  I cried, because at the time I didn’t really realize at the time how much it sucked. To survive, I just sucked it up and buried it deep down inside . I had to let myself feel that pain before I could let go of it. Feeling an emotion is the only way you can be free of it.

Once I actually acknowledge just how much Christmas sucked for me growing up, I felt lighter. Up until that point, nothing I tried really let me enjoy Christmas for more than a few moments. Now I can start reframing Christmas on my terms. As an adult, in a new city, with a new family and friends of my own.

And you know what? My whole family was supportive of me starting new traditions. They know I love them, and that I’ll get to see them next week, to celebrate without the past hanging over my head. This year, I was able to stay in the present. To be present and enjoy Christmas on my own terms, with love and joy in my heart instead of old hurts  and sadness. I’m actually already looking forward to next year.

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