Asking for Help

I  had a rough day yesterday.

Not anything dramatic, or horrible, just one of those days where you feel heavy, and all the little things seem to weigh you down even further. I was tired when I woke up, but I couldn’t see any reason why I should be tired after 8 or 9 hours of sleep,  so I forced myself out of bed, without being excited about the day ahead as I usually am. I did some writing. I was frustrated my eyes seemed fuzzier than usual, and that focusing seemed like hard work.  I did some dishes, broke a dish.  Went and got a new  hair cut and even though I had been looking forward to a style transformation (since I no longer wear glasses, I decided to cut some bangs). Well, they didn’t turn out quite right, but they never do the first time anyway, and it looks cute.

By the time I was finished at the salon, I had a headache of massive proportions, and popping some advil didn’t help. I ran some errands, left my keys in my car, (thankfully I didn’t lock the door), had a pedestrian freak at me for being stopped too far onto the sidewalk for his liking while I was waiting to turn onto a busy street, and came home to find that I couldn’t park anywhere within 2 blocks of my house thanks to construction on the road and people leaving piles of  wood stacked in front of my spot in the alley.

Top that off with crazy loud construction noise even in my apartment and a whiny cat and I had just had enough. I don’t deal well with stress when I’m that tired, and even though my wise and loving man reminded me I’m healing and should be kind to myself, I just couldn’t.

I was exhausted, on every level, and I just flopped on my bed and started bawling. I cried for a minute, feeling so sorry for myself, and then in my head, I cried out “Help me, please!”, and a second later, I felt a  weight come off me. It happened so fast, I was confused. I sniffled a few more times, cautiously probing my emotions, and felt peace.

Huh. That easy.

I continued to lie on the bed for a few minutes, resting and feeling myself curiously being recharged.

It’s not the first time something like this has happened to me. I think there have been more than a few desperate times when I’ve asked for help, and it’s been given.  The thing is though, you have to ask.




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